Abhorrent Beasts - Drunken Diva

We've probably all had the delight of experiencing them. They come often as a surprise, without warning, without reason. They're indefatigable and tenacious. I am speaking of the alcohol-freed Attention Starved Drama Monger, henceforth referred to as the Drunken Diva.

Drunken Diva- do you remember her? The one who would have "one too many" and proceed to dominate the rest of the event, evening, bar, or party with her increasingly dramatic speeches and confessions.

Some more festive Drunken Divas get jovial, jesting and joking like a slurry Ozzie Osborne type stand up comedian gone horribly wrong. Some entertain by upping their Diva performance with some nudity or promiscuous behavior.

Most, though? Most are just purely self-indulgent and obnoxious, and have an uncanny gravity to any otherwise not-them-centered event. I'll be honest, I thought I had seen the last of these pathetic performances when I left college, as I tend to understand that as we mature, we cast aside what makes us look like a dumbf*ck, like drinking so much we embarrass ourselves. Unfortunately, I am reminded many of us have THAT uncle, or THAT buddy, or god forbid THAT female friend who we occasionally forget their Drunken Diva alter ego long enough to invite them to an alcohol-inclusive event, only to be summarily punished by awkward moments and flat out shocking confessions you never wanted to know in the first place.

Is an illustration of this phenomenon in order? I believe it is.

If you've not experienced this Abhorrent Beast, I envy you. They should all be rounded up and left at Circus Circus in Vegas, so the rest of us can be happy and cheery in appropriate social situations.

I Feel SPECIAL Today!

It has come to my attention (illustrated at home a week or so ago with a loud SQUEEEEEEEEEAL from yours truly) that people I. Don't. KNOW. are reading my blog!!! And I know this because some of them (you!) are commenting.

This is awesome.

I am a vain creature, and like all vain creatures, I fluff my tail, ruffle my feathers and preen thinking that someone (else) thinks my words/opinions/vignettes are interesting enough to read and perchance even comment on. So my thanks go out to you, strangers, for making me feel special. Does this feeling need an illustration? I think it does. I incidentally created the following picture last night, when The Fiance was letting me doodle around with his ipad.


Before I post it though, I should warn you I'm a sucky artist. No really. Some people are creating amazing things with this $8 ipad ap, I'm not. I'm basically a glorified stick-artist. Please don't expect much from me. Here it goes:

See that? That's a representation of one of The Fiance's cats, farting a rainbow. THAT'S HOW SPECIAL you made me feel. Like I am a fluffy, fluffy cat who can fart rainbows. THAT special. On that note, I feel like I want to help you feel special. Do you want me to respond to what you say? I'd love to know. I may just write back anyway, in fact I think I will.
I'll try to write back as often as I can, I'm accessible, I am, I swear, even though I tend towards busy in my outside-internetty life.

Have I warned you I'm a dork? Consider this your warning, if I have not. I have more to say, but it wouldn't be in keeping with this random-style post. And thank you again, seriously, for reading what I have to say. I'm all validated in my internet existence now.