Saturday, February 5, 2011

Fun Side Effects of Sleep Deprivation

I have been up all night working a graveyard shift. Thusly, I am not going to correct any misspellings or typos because I want it fully obvious how messed up this makes your brain.
This is your brain.
This is your brain on a graveyard shft. Any Questions?
(Pictures to be inserted when i'm not half dead.)
Um.
LIST OF FUN SIDE EFFECTS
1. You can't effing type.
2. You have very little that's interesting to say except to compaling about your state of uncomfortable existance which becomes less comfortable as each minute passes.
Did I mention I have now been up for pretty much 24 hours? This is lame.
3. Nausea sets in at about 20 hours of awakeness. This for me was sometime around 4a.m. and is increasing as the sky lightens.
4. Shift in balance, suddenly the only cojmfortable or safe position seems to be seated, and that's without being in my/any car. Woe betide any food *FOOL* who gets in my way on the freeway today.
5. Unreasonable belief that noting is amiss. (Soemtihng is amizz.)
6. Alleged "second wind" confuses body inot thinking that expending energy by tics and leg shaking is worth its effort. This is misconstrued failure of mind/body connection, and it will later result in leg soreness.
7. Rambling on about things no one cares about only to realize you never opened your mouth.
8. Eye ache and dryness. (duh)
9. Headache.
10. Full-body grease illusion, you suddenly and ALL AT ONCE ALL OVER feel as though you've been dipped in tallow and are both stinky and oily and it's GROSS and omigod it means I'm gonna have to shower before I can collapse into bed, oh this is not awesome.
11. Real or imagined carpral tunnel symptoms set in from computer overuse.
12. Now my stomach's upset too. UGH.

I haven't even gotten into the effects later, like when I try to sleep but I can't sleep so I'm mad and I can't sleep and for some reason the shades don't keep out the sun and the rays of sun desperately seek my pupils for pupil assasination attempts and it's personal and it's NOT NICE and I don't WANT to wear that eye-mask becasue it smells like my fiance's face oil and that's not nice either even though he's very nice to offer to let me borrow it, and I wish I weren't wasting my sunlight by sleeping andk nowing that if I don't sleep soon later I won't be able to sleep tonight at all and I'm gonna be up and NOT BE PAID FOR IT but still suffering the effects of working right now. . .
I really, really am not meant for graveyard shifts. I didn't even go INTO the increased assault of the supernatural that goes on when i'm mentally exhausted and it's night time out.